Perfectionism & Growth

“Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time” - Voltaire



Ok, I admit it. I am a perfectionist. I don't claim that as always being a positive thing. To me it can equal one of two things... A.) It excels me to levels that make me unbelievably proud to B) never starting things because of a general fear that it won't be "perfect"... which can lead a lot of things left undone. This I am certainly *not* proud of!

My blog is just an example. See, I have these ideas in my head how each post must be, and because I want it "just right", I skip a night, then another, then another waiting to get everything "perfect". It's true that I think of vintage living 24/7 now and I am implementing small actions into my life... it's just I'm not able to live the lifestyle (in my mind) because I don't have the "things" to live it perfectly. I love to read "My 50's Year" blog, and she tends to reflect on her "modern life" verse her "vintage life". That said, I think the 2011 me is thinking in modern times... I want it instantly. I want a magic fairy to just pop down, wave her wand, and give me a vintage wardrobe, with a vintage haircut (that I automatically know how to style, of course!), I'd love a fully clean and organized home so that I can just implement the daily routines and just whisk around all day on cloud 9. I want to blog about this magical lifestyle that I've just instantly created. Only thing is, there is no magic fairy. I'm a mom to 4 kids, so tossing out my jeans and t-shirt wardrobe and heading out to vintage shops in Atlanta and spending til the closet is full again just ain't gonna happen. (yes, I know I said ain't!.... cuz it ain't!) lol! In order for me to obtain a wardrobe of my desires, it means I have to spend time at my sewing machine. It means that it will take spring and summer weekends at various thrift stores, antique markets, and yard sales in hopes to find a piece I like, at a price I like. It will most certainly take time. Ah, time.... society, in general, really doesn't like anything that takes TIME anymore.... we live in such an instant "microwaveable" society that we haven't got patience to do anything slowly. Yesterday I was on facebook, and I kept seeing post after post about who was getting the brand new i-phone that was just released hours before. That's how we are now. When something comes out, we have to INSTANTLY have it. If we don't have funds to pay for it instantly, we look to the gold card... oh wait, it's gone platinum now. Ah, yes.... Titanium V.I.P. Exclusive Cards are next, I'm sure of it. Of course if we actually saved up the cash to buy anything it would be obsolete as soon as we had the funds... but it's not just technology, it's about whatever we want. We want it... and we want it now. Our advertising today focuses on that "greed" of society.... here's just a few of today's commercials...

or how about this credit card commercial....



Ah, yes... Chase what matters.... and what matters is that you get whatever you want.... NOW! It really makes us sound like a generation of spoiled little brats, now doesn't it? What if we went without?? I'm sure we'd probably stop our feet, stick out that bottom lip and pout about how "life isn't fair".  I'd like to say that I'm not apart of this generational curse we all seem to be under, but I'd be lying. If there is ever something I really and truly want, I can always somehow manipulate the budget to "fit it in" and then worry about it later. This is an aspect of myself that I would like to change as my project moves forward.

I have been continually thinking about my project, and yes, I realize that the magic vintage fairy isn't about to wave her little wand and make me the vintage diva instantly. My inner spoiled brat is still pouting that there isn't a real vintage fairy to begin with... *sigh* So it's time for me to really tap into my inner vintage self. To dig deep past the "I want it all, and I want it now" mentality... so I've spent many fond hours recently thinking of my great grandmother. I was blessed to have known her for 18 years of my life. She lived next door to me and I grew up basically at her feet. As I read various blogs about others who are living vintage lifestyles whether it be 30's, 40's, or 50's, they will talk about how things used to be done, and it will trigger a thought of "OH! So THAT'S why my grandma did that!".... and it makes me appreciate knowing her more. Now that I am getting so mentally involved with my project, I wish that I had a chance to ask her so many questions about the lifestyle of the 1930's-40's... I wonder what her view of the depression era was like or what about WWII... in which she lost her first husband. Up until she was able she used to keep a very large garden and grew all kinds of vegetables. In the yard my grandfather had planted various fruit trees, which gradually over the years have succumb to rot and have been cut down. My grandmother used to can tomatoes, beets, pickles, and strawberry jam. She always loved doing it... and the kitchen was always a bustle while canning was going on! I can remember being shooed out of the kitchen more than once out of fear that a boil or pop from the pan would land on me. Those are happy memories for me, because I can picture the white counters and appliances, the bright yellow paint color, and all of the old enamel pans, linens and well, it simply felt cozy and wonderful. Maybe that is why I am so drawn to vintage living... simplicity. Bright. Cheerful... and a determination that if it needed to be done, we will just simply get it done... and it will be done with a smile and in love. If there is someone for me to look up to in my vintage journey, it really is my great-grandma. Recently, my mom gave me my grandmother's old jewelry box. Inside there was a  newspaper clipping to a berry farm advertisement (she loved strawberry jam... ate it nearly every morning on toast!) but there was another clipping that read:

"Someone has said that there are four kinds of 'BONES' in every organization."

"There are the WISHBONES, who spend their time wishing someone else would do all the work."

"There are the JAWBONES who do all the talking, but very little else"

"Next, there are the KNUCKLEBONES, who knock everything anyone ever tries to do"

"And finally, there are the BACKBONES, who get under the load and do the work."

My grandma was definitely a backbone! I want to be a backbone too! So what does all this mean? Well, it means that I'm going to have to grow... and like a seed, it's going to take time. If I just blogged about my perfect vintage life, I wouldn't be able to share with you how I grew to get at that point... and honestly, isn't sharing the bumps and bruises of growing how we learn from each other? So I'm not perfect (gasp!). It's true... honestly, I'm not even close to it, but I had someone in my life who I can look up to. Someone who, although they weren't perfect either, lived a lifestyle of giving to others in love. Someone who wasn't afraid to get under the load and work! I knew my grandmother in her later years (60's-80's), but I can imagine she was probably a very hands on, get it done kind of mamma!  After all, she was a single mom while her husband was in the war. I imagine that she was one of those women who were fighting the war on the homefront... planting her victory garden and harvesting! Doing what she could do at home to help out the efforts.

The type of advertising my grandmother was seeing would have been WWII posters like:

The advertising wasn't focused on "me, me, me"... but rather, "What can I do to help?", doing without, and rather then thinking of the here and now, focusing on the future... and preparing today for tomorrow.

Do we do that today? Do we actively save for our retirements to live comfortably (on a continually falling dollar), or are we squandering it on the latest iphone just to please our own inner spoiled brats? Are we focused on helping our neighbors? Do we even know our neighbors? Do we volunteer or is our time to wrapped up in being "too busy" doing something for ourselves, or our kids. These are questions I ask myself. Uncomfortably, sometimes I don't like the answers I give myself. I can continue to push down and ignore the inner brat in me, but honestly, I'd rather deal with it because in the end, I really think it's time to grow and become a better person. There is a me I'm striving to be, and no, there isn't a vintage fairy who will magically change me, but rather this will be a slow, gradual change.... a lifestyle change. I quoted Voltaire at the beginning of my blog, “Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time”. This is truly my thoughts this evening. I plan to take time to blog, even if it isn't a "perfect" post, just to gather thoughts, motivate myself, track my journey, and who knows, maybe inspire one or two people along the way. =)

Tomorrow I will share with you how I've been cleaning out my hall closet as well as my sewing room, and show you my first vintage pattern I'm working on.

Til then~
Angela